What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Pooping to opera.
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