She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
