Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
