ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize