hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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