Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
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i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
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Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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