What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
