Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
