You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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