For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
