Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
