I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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