just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
