this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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