There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize