I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
