I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
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also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
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Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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