using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
