dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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