Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
