So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think I sprained my soul last night
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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