What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
