I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
