Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We got so high we made milksteak
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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