my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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