Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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