hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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