Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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