Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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