can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
