she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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