i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
God, I missed his penis.
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