my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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