On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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