She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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