this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
