if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
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Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
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Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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