What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
