how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize