you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I stole a fireplace last night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
