That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
