He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So much rum. So many feels.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You left your phone here
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