i permit you to call me
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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