My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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