Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
