you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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