I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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