i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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