he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
