Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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