I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize