The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
