so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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