somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
